This is NOT an Amazon Affiliate Post. I will make NO money if you buy these books.
At 30 I woke up. Within a matter of months I realized that my marriage was on the brink of complete collapse, and the career that I had loved in my 20s was now a burden and I wanted out. It was time for deep inquiry and learning, yet I’d never been much of a student.
Luckily our couple’s therapist recommended we read The 5 Love Languages By Gary Chapman.
It didn’t save my marriage, and thank god for that, but it did re-ignite my passion for learning and as my career and marriage both declined, I turned to books, lectures, podcasts, online programs, and workshops to begin my deep transformation.
Whether you are looking to improve dating and relationship skills, start a business, get paid more, or lose 100 lbs., the transformation will always start in your mind.
The following books have had a huge impact on both my clients and myself. This list is custom cultivated for men under 40. If you are a woman or a man over 40, I’d still recommend them.
No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover
Most of us take pride in being a nice guy…and that is one of the fundamental paradoxes of life. Nice guys don’t finish last, but they also don’t get what they want in love, sex, relationship, and work or with family. So you may be thinking, well what the fuck Joe? Am I supposed to be a dick? NO! But you can be a thoughtful, respectful and caring man with a bold edge and learn to care for and stand up for yourself. In fact, if you choose to stay a nice guy, you really aren’t being that nice. Read the
book…you’ll get it.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson
Manson cuts through the bullshit that we are fed in a lot of positive psychology and self help books and programs. Now I am a big fan of positive psychology, it saved my life, and there is a point where staying in the sunshine 24/7 becomes a disease upon itself. What Manson delivers in this book is an impeccable guide for anyone who has done zero personal development and wants to get started or for anyone who has done so much that they are in need of recovery. At the end of the day it’s a book about values and how to align life with the things that are most important to us.
King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette
There is a hidden architecture to the universe and especially to our psyche. As a man we have core archetypes that show up in all scripture, literature, film and in our own minds. To understand these 4 core archetypes will allow you to know what parts of you to tap into and at which moments in your life. This is a classic book in the men’s psychology world and will enlighten you to the deep seeded primal blueprints that show up in your life. If you like this kind of book I highly recommend Iron John by Robert Bly.
By the way, if you are in dating mode, telling a woman you just met or recently started dating, “I enjoy studying masculine archetypes and shadow psychology” will instantly create a great conversation and elevate you well beyond the guy she sat across last week who was talking about the NBA finals and Call of Duty.
The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
Unlike the last book, I don’t recommend telling women about this book on a first date. The title is pretensions and you will sound like an arrogant jerk. That being said, if you can get past the title this is a powerful read. This book starts off focusing on people who identify as masculine, and soon becomes one of the best guides to understanding the feminine beings in your life. I don’t recommend you take this book literally. Imagine it as spiritual scripture. It points out the energies that must be understood, but the actions it recommends are a bit drastic if you haven’t done decade’s spiritual, sexual, relational and psychological development. Buy the book and read this article by Jim Benson.
If you are in relationship with a woman, buy her Dear Lover by Deida and read these books together. You can thank me later…if you can pull yourself out of the bliss of passionately reignited deep love and sexual expression you will create together.
OSHO: Tantra the Supreme Understanding
Disclaimer: This is not easy reading. It’s only for those of you who want to be a spiritual badass and learn to understand the universe and people on a profound level. Don’t start here.
OSHO introduced me to the idea of universal acceptance, religion-less religion, and what Tantra really is. I had read books and listened to lectures from Tantric sex practitioners and thought that Tantra was about semen retention and multiple orgasms. I had no idea that it was the foundation of almost all eastern philosophy from Yoga, to Hinduism, to Buddhism, and more. This book challenges you to understand the paradoxes of life. Nothing in this world is black or white. The universe operates in the millions of shades of color in between. Embrace, love and understand paradox and you will flourish.
These books have changed my life. And that being said they were just starting points. The work I’ve done with therapists, men’s groups, workshops, and coaches is what really allowed me to create a life I love.
If you are ready to take the next step and begin turn information into transformation, I want you apply to work with me. We’ll connect and you’ll learn more about what it really takes to create more freedom, ease, confidence, personal power and passion in your life.
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