I thought I was immune from having the conceptual “vulnerability hang over”.
Turns out I’m not.
I’ve been extraordinary honest in intimate relationship.
I’ve shared publicly about my body shame.
I’ve shared publicly about my deep anxiety.
I’ve shared publicly about sexual dysfunction.
I’ve shared publicly about how I still have certain struggles with food.
I’ve shared publicly about my divorce.
I’ve shared publicly about how I felt crushed by a once successful career.
I’ve shown my naked body in large group settings many times after 3 decades of that concept being mortifying.
I’ve had conversations with friends that I thought might end the friendship.
I’ve continuously shown my clients how human and imperfect I am.
I practice and model big vulnerability almost every day.
Usually this kind of shit doesn’t phase me. I go into it with the mindset of a warrior for truth, connection, evolution and love.
I know I will heal from any scars that I walk away with and I’ve almost always been proud of my ability to model vulnerability.
And it can still get me. Even though I practice this essential life skill over and over and over, I can still be hit with an attack of fear and regret after I take a risk.
I exposed some beliefs, opinions and feelings yesterday that scare me. The fact that I felt this rush of fear and anxiety last night is the proof that I tapped into some powerful shit. It’s also proof that we are never done practicing difficult communication.
Since I choose a life as fully expressed as I can make it…this won’t be the last time I thought I was passed something and it hits me again. This won’t be the last time I feel like a bad ass loving sovereign warrior in the moment and then question myself after the fact.
Thanks for the reminder universe. I’m still listening.
If you find you struggle to take vulnerable action in your life, and know it will improve your relationships and career, reach out to find out about working with me.