For the past year, I have been spending way too much money on fitness. I was doing Orange Theory several times per week and going to yoga at a studio 2 or 3 times per week. My partner recommended I join her gym. I resisted for months. I was sure it wouldn’t meet my needs. I thought I would lose the quality of workouts and I’d gain weight and feel demotivated. The schedule for classes didn’t “perfectly fit” my desired times. I took the risk and changed a few weeks ago.
I was wrong. I absolutely love it. I’m excited to try all kinds of different exercise classes and expand my fitness world. I love having a regular gym to stop into and just do my own work out whenever I want. I love being able to do a yoga class and do some strength training or cardio right before or after. I love being able to take an evening class and then sit in the steam room and sauna to unwind. All experiences that I didn’t have before or even think I’d want or needed.
A year ago, I was going through a break-up. It was time to move. I loved my neighborhood and really built a home there. My coffee shop, my co-working space, my yoga studio, close proximity to my gym and grocery store. It was home and I was attached. I really didn’t want to move, especially more than a few minutes from the metro. I was worried about uprooting and having to reground into a new neighborhood of the same city.
I was wrong. My new neighborhood is much better, my home is amazing, I’m right near the park and enjoy spending time in nature. The distance to the metro was never a big deal, I enjoy an even better coffee shop, I’m much closer to several of my friends and I’ve found new places to work and work out. I’m a lot happier here than I was before.
When I was married, I thought I was happy. I never wanted that relationship to end. We had shared interests and passions, we’d built a life together, a home together and were financially stable. I thought it was the best relationship I could create.
I was wrong. The end of the marriage was an important moment in my life. Since then I’ve become liberated emotionally, romantically, socially and sexually. I’ve experienced relationships that fill me with joy, help me feel empowered, lean into my love languages more and help me grow as a man daily. My love life is much more amazing than I ever thought it could have been when I was married. Now, I know how powerful a love relationship can be and I’m moving towards the family that I would have never had when I was married.
When I was starting to get healthy I was still an omnivore. I LOVED pork, beef, and dairy. I remember telling people all of the time that I could never give up bacon or cheese. No way. Not gonna happen.
I was wrong. For 6 years I was vegan before integrating dairy and fish back into my diet. I loved eating plant-based and still do. My whole landscape of nutrition and fitness has changed. I lost about 100 lbs since making that change and I was not trapped there permanently. I enjoy food much more than I ever did before and now actually eat like a king. Most importantly, I know that can always change my diet and I’m never “stuck” eating a certain way. I have the power.
I used to think that I would always be a VERY heavy man. In fact, I remember assuming that I’d die in my 40s of 50s from obesity-related health issues. That’s just who I was. That’s who my family was and I wasn’t going to ever be able to change. In my wildest dreams, I didn’t imagine being a guy who could be under 300 lbs for an extended period of time.
I was wrong. Now I’ve been fit and healthy for 6 years and loving it. I lost 160 lbs and have kept it off. Not without some struggle but with far more ease than I ever thought possible. This shift made my whole life look and feel different. It helped show me that we are never static, we are rather elastic and are far more capable of making change than we believe we are.
I worked as a sales manager for the same company for 14 years. I loved the company, loved the product, loved the mission, loved the values and love my leaders. I was sure I would work there for my entire career. I was sure that I would hate any other vocation and that I could never make good money doing something else. On one hand, I was committed and inspired. On the other hand, I was full of fear and doubt about my capability and my worth.
I was wrong. It’s been 5 years since I was with that company and for the majority of that time, I’ve been happily self-employed. Doing something that I feel I was put on this earth to do. Help people become their best, face their doubts, build confidence, build courage and go after the change that they want but are afraid to go after on their own. I’m joyful AF when I’m working with my clients. I work fewer hours than I did in my old career, am more passionate, have more freedom and have made more money than I was going to had I stayed in retail.
Throughout my life, I’ve been afraid of change. I’ve wanted to hold onto the current way of being because I thought I’d be giving up or losing something important if I took the risk to try another way. Or as in the case of my divorce, when a change was forced up me.
Throughout my life, I’ve been wrong. When change comes, I’ve always been able to adapt, create and grow. When change comes, I’ve always been able to make the best of the new situation. When change comes I’ve always found a way to be happier, get more of my needs met and experience the richness and joy that I’d never thought possible before I “took the leap” or “got pushed” off the ledge.
This is what I know is possible. This is what I stand for.
What changes have you been desiring but afraid to take on?
There is something better on the other side.
It’s your turn!