I’ve changed a lot in my life. Anyone that knows me, or of me, knows about the 150 lbs I lost after growing up obese. Some people know about how I recovered myself from chronic anxiety, negativity and fear based living. Others are aware that I transformed a lot in my social and romantic life. And still others are familiar with the fact that I up and quit a 14 year career without knowing what the hell I was going to do next and successfully started a coaching business.
With so much of my life being focused on how we change, I’ve become aware of the misconceptions, misunderstandings and outright lies that surround the concepts of change, transformation and creation.
In this series of blog posts, I will expose some of the more popular bullshit about change. Each post will have a concept to digest and/or an example from my own life or from a client’s work.
Today’s Topic – Information/Knowledge/Learning
In the world of personal and professional growth, the most sold product is information. Books, podcasts, lectures, trainings, workbooks, webinars, 10 step programs, apps and paid membership sites are where the majority of the money and time is spent by people who want change.
The belief sounds like this “If I knew more, learned more, or had just the right strategy and information…then I will be able to change easily.”
BULLSHIT!
We need a solid base of information, strategy, data and of course learning will upgrade our mindset, and awareness. That is a requirement for change.
And so often when someone is overly focused on learning, they are actually avoiding the vulnerability and risk of challenge and action.
I know people who’ve read 5 relationship books in the last year but aren’t even dating. I know people who have read dozens more books about business and entrepreneurial life than I have but have been “writing their business plan” for 5 years. I know people who listen to podcasts and go to weekend workshops but stay stuck because they don’t apply what they learned in their own lives.
We often think that results come from when we have enough knowledge and confidence to take the right action. That’s not how change works. Let me share a couple of concepts about the flow of growth.
Action leads to traction, traction leads to momentum, momentum leads to learning, learning leads to confidence, confidence leads to more action and with patience and consistency we create results!
Information + Implementation = Transformation
Consumption does not equal creation. Know the difference.
Other coaches, trainers, healers etc will be happy to sell you more information. It’s easier to market and share ideas than it is to help people actually engage a hero’s journey towards lasting change. And you know what, those products are more appealing. They promise insight for $9.99 or $299.95 or maybe you have been roped into one of those $1999.99 “perfect 12 step systems”.
These will provide you amazing information and insight but they won’t help you change your life unless you take massive action.
When I was working on transforming my mindset, nervous system, social and romantic life, back in 2013, I bought tons of books and online programs for change. I was a ferocious learner. Like a dog with bone I was not going to stop sending multiple hours per day reading, watching listening and studying what I wanted to transform.
One of the many programs I purchased was a product by a dating coach. It was purely an information product. He would interview other dating coaches and experts and included was a e-book he wrote with concepts and exercises to try.
In the intro session of the product he said these words “Most of you won’t get the results you want. I’ve coached hundreds of people and the guys that succeed always focused on speed to action. If you learn something in this program and put yourself in the position to try it out with 48 hours, you’ll change.”
I took it to heart. That year I did his program on dating confidence, another coaches program on anxiety and nervous system, another coaches program on authentic social connection, read 2 dozen books, listened to over 500 hours of lectures and interviews, watched countless TED Talks and did my Mankind Project rites of passage weekend.
More importantly I would plan and schedule time to implement the things I was learning and to take consistent action. All of the social and communication skills I learned I would apply the next day at work. All of the attraction or dating concepts I learned I would test by going on a couple dates per week. All of the things I learned about my mindset, nervous system and emotions, I would work on via journaling, meditation and men’s groups. What I learned about food or exercise, I’d apply immediately in the kitchen and gym.
There is nothing unique or different about my capacity to change or transform. There is nothing special about my clients who grow tremendously and create the change they want. The difference is in the choices we make to take action, implement change and move from consumption to creation, from information to transformation.
Tired of hiding out while you consume content and hope it will change you? If you are ready for real change and you are willing to commit to action, reach out.
It’s your turn!