Badass men invest in themselves. There is no sugar coating this and no way around it. And I’m not just talking about money. I’m talking about all primary resources; time, energy, money, and attention. They pay the cost to be the boss!
Welcome back to the series on How to Become a Badass After Divorce or Break Up.
Most of us are more likely to pay the cost when it comes with a clear ROI. So we invest in ourselves when it comes to business, leadership, technology and material luxuries. Some men invest time and energy into their knowledge of sports, politics, health, and science.
The true badasses have the vision to play the game of life holistically. They know that investing in developing their mind, body, emotions, relationship skills, health, and communication is what will take them to the next level in all areas of life. See, business is simply how you receive a reward for the value you create in the market.
Yet you are only truly wealthy when you are getting rewarded with love, attention, admiration, trust, respect, desire, connection as well as deep experiences of joy, aliveness, and peace. That is why we work so hard to develop our capacity to make money and to be “smart”. We believe that money is going to help us create these deeper human experiences.
So your relationship didn’t work out. You can get busy trying to do life with the same knowledge, skill set, mindset, confidence and way of being that you created your last relationship from.
Or you can take this opportunity to spend time, energy and money on upgrading your understanding and skills with emotions, communication, body, sexuality, health, sensuality, dating, and relationship.
Here comes the tough love. Your relationship ended because of the level of awareness, mindfulness, consciousness, and capability that you have around emotions, communication, relationships, love and sex. Bottom line.
And it’s not your fault. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with you. And we live in a world where it’s not normal for men to be taught about love and relationships. We live in a world with practically unlimited tools for learning and growing but without emphasis on us as men, focusing on relationships and love.
My marriage failed because I relied upon what I saw my parents do, what is modeled in our media and what other guys my age had taught me. I wasn’t a great communicator, I didn’t know my emotions, I didn’t know much about women’s psychology or anatomy, I was only slightly educated on sexuality and I was oblivious when it came to my body.
Men who care about who they are as fathers, husbands, partners, lovers, and leaders are investing in personal growth. They expand their mind, thoughts, beliefs, skills, capacities, and awareness.
Divorce or break up is a time to get real with yourself about what you want and to then identify the gap between the man that you are and the man who can create the life you want.
No one taught you to do this. And now it’s time.
This is why I coach. I help men upgrade their mindset, skill sets, emotional intelligence, communication, and beliefs. This shift is what ultimately helps them get healthier, make more money and have deeper experiences with love, sex, and relationship.
When it’s time to take your personal life as seriously as an elite athlete or business leader, it’s time to hire a coach.
Of course, this is not the only way to grow, it’s not for the faint of heart and only for men who are very serious. If you are not at that point yet here are some ideas.
Books, Podcasts, Online Trainings, Weekend Workshops, Free Webinars, Conversations with Friends/Family, Therapy, Personal Trainers, Men’s Groups, Documentaries and free content from coaches, trainers, and lifestyle educators. If you want specific recommendations, reach out and I’ll share some customized options.
If you have been reading this series and you know it’s time to take serious action to create the life you love in the wake of your divorce or break up, apply to work with me.
And if you are reading this in the month of July 2019, I’m giving away 38 hours of coaching to celebrate my 38th birthday and my 4th year in business! Here is a link sign up now! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1aPmYE9M48jz0m5ncc8h4ttkf4Gl5J-Bu-4rfdQqBO3w/edit